Thoughts

Types of Hurt

My trainer has told me more than once now that you can’t beat yourself up for your feelings.That you’re feeling what you’re feeling for a reason. Sometimes I think I’ve got a trainer and therapist in one.

I was going to start this post saying that I feel bad complaining about something so trivial when someone in my family is on her deathbed as we speak.

But then I remembered those words from my trainer. And I am allowed to hurt in two ways right now.

One way is physical and mental – my knees. They’ve had me sidelined for a week now. I miss running. I miss cardio in general. I feel like a bum. I pushed too hard, and now I’m paying for it.

The other way is emotional – my grandma is dying. The DNR was signed yesterday and the doctors were surprised she made it through the night. I got out of work early today and went to visit. Honestly, it was terrible. The woman that I knew as my grandma wasn’t there anymore. Her spirit gone, but her body not yet ready to follow.

And right now, I’m hurting.

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