Thoughts

Well, hello

I’ve been MIA for a while. I lost some of my steam. When I think back to even before I stopped posting, I was struggling with my motivation. Diet motivation, posting motivation… it just kind of fizzled away. And I didn’t know how to get it back. The more I tried to force it, the more I rebelled against myself. I was having a hard time feeling excited about things in general.

The one bright spot in all of that was that I didn’t lose my exercise motivation. Sure, not every workout was my best, some runs I fought my head the whole time, but I kept at it.

And I’m finally starting to feel better. More like me again. I don’t really know what was going on. My trainer thought I was seeming depressed. I started considering finding someone to talk to. I started taking Vitamin D again (might as well, right?). I can’t say I’ve completely snapped out of it, but I feel a lot better. More willing to try again. I’ve been eating better (more self-control over snacking), I’ve made progress on the scale over the past three weeks, and I’ve been composing blog posts in my head again.

So it’s time to type them out again, too! But I’m making some changes. When I started this blog I wanted structure. I’m a type A person. I like routine and plans. But that became overwhelming and well… boring when it came to blogging. So instead, I’m going to blog about what I want, without worrying about posting on a certain topic on a specific day of the week. If I’ve discovered a good, healthy recipe, I’ll post it. If I’m proud of a run, I’ll brag about it. Speaking of, I ran my first 10k earlier this month in under an hour!

So… we’ll see how this goes.

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Week In Review

It’s Been Quiet Around Here

I’ve been MIA for a while. I didn’t mean to be. I’ve been composing blog posts in my head (and then forgetting what I wanted to say) all week. But it seems like when life gets busy, blogging is what gets neglected. After all, it can be a pretty easy thing to ignore, compared to a pile of laundry, a work deadline or a sink full of dishes.

I’ve also been in a bad head space again lately. I don’t quite know what’s been going on. I’ve been doing a lot of self sabotaging with my eating and I can’t figure out what my trigger is. I talked to my trainer about it yesterday and she suggested that I get off my routine for a week. Stop tracking and measuring my food. Don’t do the workout routines she gave me. Instead, try to make healthy choices and just do what I want for workouts – whether it’s more cardio, yoga or just making up some strength routines.

And the funny thing is, I had been thinking myself that I need a break from tracking. I’ve been doing it for over a year now. As I’m sure most people reading this are aware, it’s a lot of work to measure out and track all the food you eat. Not that I’ve been 100% perfect about it, but even when I haven’t been, the stress of tracking is always there.

So it’s day two of not tracking my food. It’s been a rocky start. My bad head space lead to some poor choices yesterday and with the holiday today, I was just trying not to overindulge too much. It was really weird packing my lunch and snacks for work tomorrow and just kind of throwing in what I wanted, without thinking about ounces or macros. But I am also already feeling some relief, some mental freedom. I guess we’ll see what this week brings. Because boy, did I feel defeated yesterday morning when I was talking to my trainer about how I was feeling.

Have you ever experienced anything like this? Did you find anything that helped?

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